Today, I’m sharing my journey to self.
For the longest time, I didn’t fit in; I couldn’t – or rather, I can’t – be completely stereotyped. I suppose this is a good thing, but for a child on the road called Life, it was pretty disconcerting.
I really didn’t care about fitting in till I was eight. I started getting boobs, was becoming more aware of the other gender, and I was as awkward as they get. That was the time when everyone was into being a squad or other. I never got the hang of the squad thing.
It was so weird, being told I couldn’t talk to someone because I didn’t have some type of pen or didn’t go to Silverbird Galleria every Saturday or didn’t use that pink Motorola Razr. I tried; honestly, I did, but it just didn’t work.
High School was waaaaaaay worse. Towards the end of Primary school, I had decided I didn’t and wouldn’t care. I’d just be and do. That didn’t work. I’m on my own, minding my own business and well, somehow I was dragged down or into some dirty business of sorts and I was a scaredy cat.
Gossip happened, I wept, tried suicide, but then I realised that if I didn’t fit in any category, I could as well just get with the programme and be myself to a tee.
I was supposed to be a doctor, but yunno; stuff happens. I’m going to be a Marine Scientist – not that I knew exactly what I wanted to be professionally – and that’s a ball.
I like big clothes because of the comfort I feel in them. I also like crop tops and skin tight dresses because I feel femme fatale in them.
It took a while to get comfortable in myself and to stop fighting who I am. It took longer to express myself unapologetically. Blue Coral is a testament to this and – in the words of Sevyn Streeter – It Won’t Stop.
You can share your journey and thoughts with me in the comments section.